The Sweepstakes has
now closed and we have a winner!
SportsBlast is proud to announce our winner
for the Kellys Biggest Fan Sweepstakes
- click here
for full details.
Fan Sweepstakes Is On!
By CALVIN T. TIBBINS and CHIP KELLY
Chip: Hello, Cal. Why are we writing
to each other like this?
Calvin: Because your dad has asked
us both to write about the Biggest Fan Sweepstakes for
this week’s column. By writing like this we know
who is saying which words. Mine appear in bold where
it says “Calvin” and your words appear in
regular type where it says “Chip.”
Chip: I see. So if I use a different
name the people who are reading might think I am someone
Calvin: I suppose. Let’s get
to it. The Biggest Fan Sweepstakes has begun. One lucky
fan could win a trip for four to the Daytona 500 February
16th – 19th. That means you plus three friends.
If you don’t have three friends, you will after
winning this sweepstakes!
Kevin Harvick: Oh no, I am so scared
to lose to Chip Kelly. Sob, sob. He is a master game
player. I wish I was as smart and handsome as he was.
Calvin: Chip. Stop pretending to be
Calvin: Sweepstakes participants must
be legal residents of the United States and 18 years
or older to enter. If you aren’t 18 yet, tell
your parents to go to Team
Kelly Racing where they can read all about this
exciting opportunity. You have until Jan. 27, 2006 to
Joe Kelly: Chip never has to clean
his room again. He can have all of the cookies he wants.
I am a little bit chubby.
Calvin: Chip! You are not Joe Kelly.
Chip: Sorry again.
Calvin: The winner will be transported
to and from the race, will receive $500 in cash and
will get to attend a series of pre-race events with
Team Kelly celebrities, which could mean me. I mean,
it has to. Who else is there?
Tex Riggs: There ain’t a bloodhound’s
chance in heck that horsnwaggling armadillo’s
ever gonna yellow-belly his way like a sarsaparilla
in a China shop on the 4th of July.
Chip: I’m sorry. Won’t
happen again. I promise.
Calvin: The winners will even be animated
into a cartoon called The Kellys – personally,
I don’t know what that even is – and can
meet members of the cast and crew. Mental note: Run
this by legal. I don’t think these people are
Calvin: I’m sorry for yelling
at you Chip. It was wrong of me. I will buy you ice
Calvin: Chip!!! That was you saying that.
Chip: OK, Cal. Fine. Hey folks, please
enter the sweepstakes and be sure to e-mail, call or
IM your friends about it. Your odds of winning are fantastic.
Team Kelly appreciates its fans and this is our way
of saying “Thanks for sticking with us through
the thick and thin. We couldn’t do it without
you and we hope to see you in Daytona!”
Faith Hill: I would never go out with
Chip. He picks his nose.
Calvin: Sorry. Won’t happen
again. I promise.
Chip: Thank you.
Faith Hill: Chip keeps a dolly in
his tree fort.
The Rock: You were warned, Cal.
Angelina Jolie from Tomb Raider: Bring
it on, little boy.
Chip: Angelina Jolie? Really?
Calvin: Uh, ha-ha-ha, enter the sweepstakes
(Calvin T. Tibbins in the public relations director,
and so much more, for Team Kelly Racing. Chip Kelly
is Team Kelly owner Joe Kelly’s youngest son.
They both hope to see you in Daytona.)